


She-Ra and the Princesses of Powder

by Zarkonnen



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Drug Use, Drugs are Good for You, F/F, Human Trafficking, literal crack fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:26:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25279225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zarkonnen/pseuds/Zarkonnen
Summary: Literal crackfic. The Princesses of Powder are an elite group of drug lords. Cocaine is uh, good, apparently? I'm so sorry.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 11





	She-Ra and the Princesses of Powder

DEA cadet Adora was having a very bad day. Not only did she have to go through a gruelling training program designed by Mr Hordak, head of the DEA, himself, her girlfriend and fellow trainee Catra was being stroppy again. She put her rage into shooting as many simulated Powder Princesses as possible. These terrible matriarchs of the drug trade were what she was here in Etheria, a small country just east of Colombia, to defeat.

Things soon improved when she learned that she had been promoted to full Agent, ahead of all the other people in her class. Also ahead of Catra. Fuck. She eventually tracked her down sulking at the perimeter taking pot-shots at the natives. They hotwired a humvee and sped out of there, into the jungle, looking for a quiet place to get hammered and make out. As usual, they started drinking in the car, and soon things were getting frisky. So frisky that Adora stopped paying attention to the road and drove them straight into a tree.

Still, alcohol does wonders for preventing whiplash, and soon they were out of the car, downing their second bottle of vodka, daring each other to skinny-dip in the nearby stream. They talked about the upcoming raid on Thaymor, a nearby princess stronghold, to seize the massive quantities of coke being moved through there. Adora excused herself and stumbled away to find a place to piss, but accidentally tripped over a root and fell down a steep ravine. At the bottom of the ravine was a cache of the purest, whitest cocaine, bundled securely - until Adora fell into it face-first, ripping open the bundle and burying her face in the delicious white powder.

It was amazing. It was beautiful. Why had no one ever told her that cocaine was just so great? She felt great. She felt strong. She started questioning everything that Mr Hordak had ever told her. She came, it was just so good cocaine. And pure cocaine too, and when it's so pure, there's only good stuff, no bad side effects, your nose stays beautiful, you don't get addicted. It just makes you better. Cocaine is great.

Catra, meanwhile, had fallen asleep.

Hours later, she woke up, head pounding. Adora had... wandered off? Whatever. She got the car running again and drove off, pausing only briefly to throw the empties into a nearby ravine.

Adora was still in her happy place, rolling around in a giant pile of coke, coming again and again, her juices mixing with the powder. Who was she, even? Surely she was not plain Adora anymore. No! She was the incarnation of the local goddess She-Ra! Yes! She got out her tazer and started waving it around, pretending it was a sword. Just then, a near-empty vodka bottle smacked her in the face and she passed out again.

When she came to, two shadows were looming over her. Glimmer, the mentally unstable second-in-command of "Queen Angella", the most powerful and vicious of the princesses. And there, next to her, was Bow, the savage, violent enforcer of Angella's organisation. They were not pleased.

"I am She-Ra!" Adora yelled at them. They did not realize yet that they had in fact captured a DEA agent. She was quite pretty, though, so they grabbed her and started tying her up. Someone would pay decent dollar.

Just then, another DEA humvee arrived, containing an agent that had been sent out by Mr Hordak to retrieve his wayward charge. Seeing the logo, Adora convulsed in anger. They had dared keep from her the power of cocaine! She was She-Ra! Glimmer and Bow had already leapt behind a nearby tree, guns at the ready. The DEA agent got out of the car and walked towards Adora, intent on rescuing her. She sneered, pulled her gun, and shot him straight in the fucking face! There!

Glimmer and Bow cheered, then coshed her over the head with a nearby vodka bottle, disarmed her, and tied her up properly. There was potential in this one.

Then they inspected the stash. It was mildly ruined, mixed with dirt and come. Still, good enough for crack.


End file.
